Head Full of Doubt

Have you ever heard a song that made you stop what you were doing just so you could focus all of your energy on listening to every word?

“When nothing is owed or deserved or expected /And your life doesn’t change by the man that’s elected / If you’re loved by someone, you’re never rejected /Decide what to be and go be it”

Yeah. I know right. Powerful stuff.

I remember the first time I heard this song. I was in a very dark place. Technically I guess the song came out in 2009, but I didn’t hear it until early in the Spring of 2011. I had recently had surgery, and found out that I’d dodged the Big C. I had also recently attended the funeral of my good friend Holly. She was 26 years old, full of life, and loved by so many.

I was driving through the Target parking lot and when I heard the first 2 verses, I had to pull over. I immediately Googled the lyrics to find out what the song was. Once it had ended on the radio, I pulled it up on my phone so I could listen to it again. And again. I sat in my car, near tears and thought, “that’s exactly what I need to do. I need to ‘decide what to be and go be it.'”

The problem was, I didn’t know what I wanted to be. After a lot of soul searching, I think I’ve finally figured it out. That, however, isn’t the reason for this post. Actually, I’ve been interrupted so many times I’m not sure if *I* know the reason for this post.

Oh yeah, getting what you need when you need it…maybe at a time when you didn’t even know you needed it. Unexpected gifts, if you will. I’ve been receiving a lot of unexpected gifts, blessings, whatever you want to call them, lately. I prefer to see them as inspiration, encouragement and love. Lots of love.

“There was a dream and one day I could see it / Like a bird in a cage I broke in and demanded that somebody free it / And there was a kid with a head full of doubt / So I’ll scream til I die and the last of those bad thoughts are finally out”

**Head Full of Doubt, Road Full of Promise – The Avett Brothers

~ by midlifecrisisfun on October 24, 2011.

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