4am

I should have known. I’d been in a funk all day. Overwhelming sadness. Near tears. All I wanted to do was crawl in bed and stay there until the feeling passed. Of course I couldn’t. I have too many things pulling me in too many directions. I should have known that once I was finally able to lose myself in sleep that it wouldn’t last. Who the hell goes to bed at 10:30, only to wake up at 4:00 and be WIDE awake?

This girl apparently.

I moved to the couch to engage in my most recent obsession. Tumblr. Specifically, Tumblrs with photos of trees and nature. There are several that I’m currently following. I just Googled “Tumblr trees” and went from there. It’s a good way to get lost for a while. Down the rabbit hole, if you will.

Many of the pictures are just your average nature shots. Most probably shot by hipsters (like myself) with a fancy iPhone app. Some, you can tell, have been photoshopped. Every now and then though, I happen across a truly magical photo. One that transports me to a magical forest. One that makes me ache from the sheer beauty. I’ve even found a few that nearly moved me to tears.

Although that could be the depression talking. Who knows?

I just noticed that I’ve been out here for almost 2 hours. My alarm will be going off in approximately 18 minutes. It’s going to be a rough day. I predict more hermit-like behavior. Especially since I won’t have any reason to leave the house today. Most of my day will be spent with a toddler, so I won’t even have to come up with anything meaningful to say to anyone.

That’s a comforting thought. At least for a little while, I won’t have to pretend I’m ok.

~ by midlifecrisisfun on December 20, 2011.